Our social media platforms and devices are designed to keep us constantly engaged. They put forth the idea that missing out on anything is pretty much the worst thing you can do. They tell us that we should be everywhere, see everything, and comment on it all. It’s overwhelming and honestly, it’s not possible to keep up with everything. It’s a false path to happiness.
What if real happiness isn’t about being over-connected, but stepping back and actually enjoying missing out on things?
I know that sounds a little weird at first. But I want to introduce you to the joy of missing out or JOMO. This is the quiet, confident sibling of FOMO (the Fear of Missing Out). JOMO is all about finding contentment exactly where you are, doing exactly what you’re doing, without the constant need for digital validation or endless comparison.
JOMO isn’t a trend. It’s a mindset shift that once it clicks, it changes how you relate to your phone, your time, and your own life. It’s a core part of what I practice and write about here as part of living with digital minimalism. If you haven’t already, check out my post on the broader philosophy of digital minimalism for the bigger picture.
So What Is the Joy of Missing Out Anyways?
If you’re like me, the first time you heard “JOMO” you probably had no idea what it meant. I didn’t either.
The joy of missing out is the complete opposite of FOMO. FOMO tells you the lie that if you aren’t online, you’re missing something important such as a party, a trending topic, some breaking news story. Then there is JOMO, which flips the script entirely.
JOMO celebrates disconnecting without guilt. It means you can enjoy watching a sunset without posting pictures of it. You can take a day without screens and feel good about it. If you don’t go to every event that pops up in your Facebook notifications, that’s perfectly fine. You’re not missing out. You’re opting in to something better.
It’s the freedom of saying “no” to all that digital noise so you can say “yes” to actually living in the present. It’s not about isolation. It’s about intentional absence. It’s about no longer living in reaction to notifications or feeling that creeping sense that your own life is somehow less exciting than your friend’s who just posted a dozen carefully curated photos on Instagram.
JOMO was popularized by author Christina Crook, who wrote about how stepping away from constant connectivity leads to a richer, more grounded life. That idea resonates deeply with the digital minimalism mindset.
Why FOMO Has Such a Powerful Hold on Us
Before we talk about how to embrace JOMO, it helps to understand why FOMO is so hard to shake.
Your apps are not neutral. They are engineered by teams of designers and psychologists specifically to trigger the part of your brain that fears being left behind. Every notification, every red badge, every “X people liked your photo” is a small dopamine loop designed to pull you back in. That’s not an accident, it’s the business model.
This is why technology addiction is more common than most people realize. The scroll isn’t random. The feed isn’t passive. And the more time you spend in reactive mode where you are checking, refreshing, scrolling, the harder it becomes to feel okay when you step away. If you’ve ever felt genuinely anxious leaving your phone in another room, that’s the hook doing exactly what it was designed to do.
Recognizing that the system is rigged against your peace of mind is actually the first step toward reclaiming it.
7 Powerful Ways to Embrace the Joy of Missing Out
JOMO isn’t a switch you flip one day. It’s a practice you build over time. Here are seven things that have worked for me and that I think will work for you.
1. Set Intentional Check-In Times
Turn off the constant feed. Instead of living in refresh mode, set specific times to check messages and social media. I suggest maybe twice a day. You want to engage intentionally, not compulsively. The world will still be there when you open the app. I promise.
2. Rediscover Analog Joy
Read a paper book. Go for a walk and leave the headphones behind. Cook a meal without filming it. These aren’t sacrifices, they’re what life actually feels like when you stop performing it for an audience.
3. Redefine What “Connected” Means
Quality in-person time beats a pile of likes every single time. Instead of sending an emoji over text, call your friend. Show up in person. And when you do, leave your phone in your pocket. You don’t need it. The people in front of you are the point.
4. Say No to Digital Clutter
Notifications, event invites, apps you never open, social media threads that go nowhere. All of this is app clutter in digital form. Every time you say no to that noise, you’re saying yes to mental clarity. Delete. Mute. Unsubscribe. No guilt.
5. Practice Single-Tasking
Multitasking is a myth and a very costly one at that. Every time you split your attention, you pay a cognitive price. The joy of missing out extends to missing out on distraction. When you’re working, work. When you’re resting, rest. One thing at a time is not a productivity hack, it’s how humans are actually wired to function.
6. Create Screen-Free Zones or Times
Pick one place in your home such as the dinner table or the bedroom and make it screen-free. Or pick a time of day, like the first 30 minutes after you wake up. Small boundaries add up fast. A week of screen-free mornings and you’ll wonder how you ever started your day staring at a phone.
7. Let the Important Stuff Find You
Here’s the thing nobody tells you about going quiet: the stuff that actually matters still reaches you. When I started enforcing focus modes and muting notifications for longer stretches, my friends called me. My neighbors flagged me down on walks. I was just as informed about what was important. I just removed a massive amount of mental clutter along the way.
If something is truly important, the people who care about you will find a way to get through. You don’t need to be permanently available to be genuinely connected.
What You’re Actually Missing Out On and What You’re Not
When you start practicing JOMO, something interesting happens. The anxiety about missing out fades. Not because you stop caring, but because you start realizing what you were actually “missing” was mostly noise.
You weren’t missing connection. You were missing curated highlight reels. You weren’t missing important news. You were missing outrage cycles and engagement bait. You weren’t missing community. You were missing comment sections.
What you gain when you step back is harder to scroll past and easier to keep: actual time, actual quiet, actual relationships. The benefits of unplugging from technology are real: less stress, better sleep, more presence with the people you love.
The joy of missing out is ultimately about trading the illusion of connection for the real thing.
Starting Small Is Starting Right
You don’t have to go off the grid. You don’t have to delete Instagram or get rid of your smartphone. You just have to start somewhere.
Try one thing this week. Turn off notifications for one app. Take one walk without your phone. Cook one meal without filming it. See how it feels.
The joy of missing out isn’t about deprivation. It’s about choosing. And the more intentional your choices get, the more you realize that what you were so afraid of missing out on was never really worth the cost of your peace in the first place.